Everyone goes through tough times now and then… And right now is my time. I’ve been dealing with a rather large personal issue for the past few months, and to put it very simply and very mildly: it’s been a tough time lately. I’m not ready to talk about it ‘in public’ so to speak, and thus haven’t written about it. I’ve tried to think of other things to write about but I just can’t think of anything. I have considered just trying to summarize my day, but my life feels so consumed with this lately.
I was talking to some friends the other day about how depressed my lack of writing had made me, and they encouraged me –gently– to get back into things. So here goes!
Thursday after work Nate met me to exchange the boys, and Trent and Atticus begged me to go to the car wash. I agreed, and it was so nice to see their glee while the car got bubbled up and then rinsed off. We took the interstate home, something I rarely do that time of day. At the exit in my small town a homeless man (I assumed) was standing with a sign asking for food. I usually ignore, but for some reason decided to treat the boys and the man to some McDonald’s. I turned around, hollered our and got his order, then met him at a truck stop to hand it off. Trent wanted me to roll down his window so he could talk to the guy. It was so interesting and overwhelmingly emotional to hear how different (happy and animated) Trent was, telling this guy he hoped he enjoyed his food, and talking about me. It was such an uplifting experience, and when I pulled into my driveway I had a lot of emotions and thoughts.
I saw the guy again the next afternoon, sitting in the same spot outside the truck stop, wearing the same dingy clothes. I had to go to work and run a bunch of errands with the boys, including getting more bad and scary news (because hey, it’s just normal these days). We picked out a few things at the store to pass on to the guy, but when our hectic day was over and we headed home he wasn’t at the truck stop. I keep wondering what his future holds.
- My troubles and sorrows are nothing compared to what they could be.
- My friends and family love me and support me, and will no matter what. They’re whatever I need when I need them to be whatever, and are relaxed in their expectations of me right now. For that I’m thankful.
- Sometimes people fall behind and need help from others in tons of ways, big and small. I want to help how I can, and I am trying to give myself grace and forgiveness when I ask for help from others.
Here are some pictures of some of the things that make me smile: